Sunday, October 24, 2010

Seasons Change.....
Next month it will be almost one year that I have been battling with this foolishness of constant vaginal bleeding.  I know it is an awkward subject. It is gross, and it's embarrassing.  But it happens.  I have tried to be strong but have to admit I am ready to go nutty over it.   It isn't something I can easily put aside and ignore.  Each time I visit the bathroom I have visible reminders of it, during the day I am physically tired due to loss of blood, again I am reminded of it. The shifting of pads, irritations....I could go on and on....I guess all I want to say is enough is enough.  I am hoping after a year and three surgeries I will once and for all will be able to say goodbye to it!  The removal of my cervix last week should be the final procedure needed.  {fingers crossed}  I was almost emotionless in the hospital as they prepped me for surgery. It was really an odd feeling.  They kept asking "any questions", I replied, "no".  What was I to ask really? Why make them lie and tell me this is the final procedure needed to make me stop bleeding.  It was a crap shoot, I realized this.  So now, I sit, wait, and hope for the best.  There are worst things out there, I acknowledge it, admit it, and recognize.  But, in my world this is what is grasping at my patience.  So as much as I try to look at the grand scheme of still pisses me off.
Lets move on.
The photo above was taken with my new camera! Whoot! Whoot!  Santa made an early appearance with my Christmas present.  I got a Canon Rebel. My last camera lasted me quite a few years as I learned how to use all the buttons, and it was time to get some new buttons!  I have looked at it a bit and viewed YouTube videos, but haven't been up to actually moving around and taking some pictures with it.  I will continue to read up on it as I heal.  I love having a camera and really do take it with me everywhere i go.
I hope you are enjoying the season changes....fall is my favorite.
keep me in thoughts and prayer as I heal.
xoxoxo, k.


Leslie said...

Hi Kathie, I have followed you for your art work but didn't know until today your medical issues. I have never heard of such a thing and really feel for you. I hope with all my heart that this last surgery will bring you peace and finally give you your life back. I am sending you hugs and hope each day is a new day for you!


Leslie, thanks for your kind words! I appreciate it!